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 We Have Met The Enemy: Earth Day 2009 By Ernest Stewart We have met the enemy and he is us! ~~~ Pogo O beautiful for smoggy skies Insecticided grain For strip-mined mountains' majesty above the asphalt plain America, America Man sheds his waste on thee And hides the pines with billboard signs from sea to oily sea ~~~ George Carlin "That son-of-a-Bush did what?" W The Movie ~~~ Uncle Ernie US Senator Gaylord Nelson D/Wisconsin was the driving force behind the first "Earth Day." Nelson had been building on an idea since 1962 and when he turned to thousands of colleges and universities which had been organizing protests against the deterioration of the environment his idea became a reality. He brought together groups that had been fighting against oil spills, polluting factories and power plants, raw sewage, toxic dumps, pesticides, freeways, the loss of wilderness, and the extinction of wildlife. They suddenly realized that they shared common values and "Earth Day" was born. As important as these groups were, another group of folks were also behind the first Earth Day, i.e., the aluminum can manufacturers who were being run out of business by the "Ban the Can" environmentalists. The manufacturers, strangely enough were some of Nelsons biggest backers! With those "Earth Dayers" picking up their litter their problems soon went away, imagine that! Still at least for a day we are forced to look at our environmental footprint and to make resolutions to do something about it. No real actions mind you, just resolutions, hey it's the American way! Just like on Christmas as Tom Lehrer says: "On Christmas day you can't get sore. Your fellow man you must adore. There's time to rob him all the more. The other 364!" So for at least one day we realized that we're all in this together, the people that is, not the governments which use this day to continue their nefarious schemes to enslave us and part us from our money! While old Pogo's wisdom was directed to what we've done to the planet from an environmental standpoint it could be equally said about our downfall because of our political ambitions throughout the world. Got some oil and some brown people? Look out, if we haven't already begun to change your environment, have no doubt we soon will! You'll soon be meeting and coming to fear our teenagers and their strange ability to kill men, women and children because some clown in a Girl Scout beanie told them to! We'll be poisoning you with various toxic gases, chemicals and explosives regardless if it's Earth Day, Christmas, Boxing Day, Cinco de Mayo, and be especially wary if it's the 4th of July! Without a doubt, old George Carlin said it best about Earth Day. Here are George's thoughts on saving the Earth: We're so self-important. So self-important. Everybody's going to save something now. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails." And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. What? Are these fucking people kidding me? Save the planet, we don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven't learned how to care for one another, we're gonna save the fucking planet? I'm getting tired of that shit. Tired of that shit. I'm tired of fucking Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the world safe for their Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don't give a shit about the planet. They don't care about the planet. Not in the abstract they don't. Not in the abstract they don't. You know what they're interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They're worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me. Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. Nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are fucked. Difference. Difference. The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been here four and a half billion years. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? The planet has been here four and a half billion years. We've been here, what, a hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand? And we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we're a threat? That somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that's just a-floatin' around the sun? The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles...hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worldwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages...And we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet...the planet...the planet isn't going anywhere. WE ARE! We're going away. Pack your shit, folks. We're going away. And we won't leave much of a trace, either. Thank God for that. Maybe a little styrofoam. Maybe. A little styrofoam. The planet'll be here and we'll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet'll shake us off like a bad case of fleas. A surface nuisance. You wanna know how the planet's doing? Ask those people at Pompeii, who are frozen into position from volcanic ash, how the planet's doing. You wanna know if the planet's all right, ask those people in Mexico City or Armenia or a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of earthquake rubble, if they feel like a threat to the planet this week. Or how about those people in Kilowaia, Hawaii, who built their homes right next to an active volcano, and then wonder why they have lava in the living room. The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we're gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, 'cause that's what it does. It's a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed, and if it's true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new paradigm: the earth plus plastic. The earth doesn't share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn't know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, "Why are we here?" Plastic...asshole. So, the plastic is here, our job is done, we can be phased out now. And I think that's begun. Don't you think that's already started? I think, to be fair, the planet sees us as a mild threat. Something to be dealt with. And the planet can defend itself in an organized, collective way, the way a beehive or an ant colony can. A collective defense mechanism. The planet will think of something. What would you do if you were the planet? How would you defend yourself against this troublesome, pesky species? Let's see... Viruses. Viruses might be good. They seem vulnerable to viruses. And, uh...viruses are tricky, always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is developed. Perhaps, this first virus could be one that compromises the immune system of these creatures. Perhaps a human immunodeficiency virus, making them vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases and infections that might come along. And maybe it could be spread sexually, making them a little reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction. Well, that's a poetic note. And it's a start. And I can dream, can't I? See I don't worry about the little things: bees, trees, whales, snails. I think we're part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand. A higher order. Call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. The Big Electron...whoooa. Whoooa. Whoooa. It doesn't punish, it doesn't reward, it doesn't judge at all. It just is. And so are we. For a little while. In Other News I'd like to thank all of you who have written in to pledge your support. When enough checks clear the bank to publish the magazine we will begin again, hopefully that won't be too long. If you can, please send in what you can, as soon as you can! And Finally "W The Movie" won a best film award. The New York International Independent Film & Video Festival announced it's winners this week and "W The Movie" won best experimental film. "Hooray for our side!" ******************************************** We get by with a little help from our friends! So please help us if you can...? Donations ******************************************** Until the next time, Peace! (c) 2009 Ernest Stewart a.k.a. Uncle Ernie is an unabashed radical, author, stand-up comic, DJ, actor, political pundit and for the last 8 years managing editor and publisher of Issues & Alibis magazine. In his spare time he is an actor, writer and an associate producer for the new motion picture "W The Movie." ******************************************** Email:issues@issuesandalibis.org
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